From the Rachel Writes blog, I have taken on the challenge of writing flash fiction that is exactly 200 words. You can check out her blog here.
The Challenge is:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
- end the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
- include the word “orange” in the story
- write in the same genre you normally write
- make your story 200 words exactly!
Here is my stab at some short fiction:
Brave by Sara Flower
Shadows crept across the wall. As I focus, I recognize the forms of John and the surgeon. Sweat stings my eyes and I close them, wincing at the agonizing pain in my left leg. Flashbacks of cannons and terrorized faces haunt me and my eyelids flutter open only to see another nightmare.
The surgeon is standing over me now. I can see it in his eyes. I am going to die.
John rushes to my side, relieving my burning forehead with a damp cloth. His free hand takes mine.
“You are so brave. I owe you my life,” says John.
He blinks and a tear slips down his muddy face.
For once in my life, I felt like I have really done something for my country. If Henry could see me now, he would probably disown me on the spot at the sight of his wife being a bloody, sweaty mess dressed in men’s clothes. I smile at that. It had all been worth it.
“Brave and beautiful. With that lovely orange hair,” John says, smiling.
Tears blur my vision not from the terrible pain, but at the revelation of how much I am going miss him.
Then, everything faded.
This is a great entry for the challenge. Well done!
Thank you! 🙂
Nice vivid detail – and I was taken by surprise at the reveal that the narrator was a woman and a wife! Thanks for joining in the challenge.
Thank you for the kind words. 🙂
Oh very sad!! I LOVE it! Great job!! I love her revelation at the end… Voting for you 🙂
I’m entry #19
Oh thank you so much! 😀 I am going to check out your entry.
Very nicely done. Nice to see a woman with conviction during that era. Great job! I love the end.
🙂 Thank you!
THAT IS SO SAD! Well written!!! 😀
Very well done.
Thank you very much!
A lovely story, telling a lot in a few words. Well done.
I really appreciate your kind words. 🙂
[…] Sara Flower has written a fantastic entry and has inspired me to partake in the Flash Fiction Challenge. The Rachel Writes blog began the challenge of writing flash fiction that is exactly 200 words. […]
Excellent imagery and tone – very strong entry – well done!
Love the reveal. Henry’s loss was John’s gain! Great job getting so much in 200 words. You have such a knack for conveying emotion. You inspired me to join in. So much fun!
Thank you so much, Lauren. I try hard to show the emotion and personality of my characters, so what you said means a lot!
I was happy to read your take on the flash fiction challenge. I love your writing style – it is always so exciting and real.
Really enjoyed this! Very creative and emotional.
BTW you’ve been tagged on my blog: http://minaburrows.blogspot.com/2012/02/fridays-with-fred-tag-stuff.html
very sad indeed! I may not be in the right era, but what I saw was a wife during the civil war times. 🙂
Hope you like mine #189
Thank you both! 🙂 I am checking out your blogs right now. Teehee
Great story! Is it supposed to be set during the Civil War or Revolutionary War? It’s nice to see another campaigner who writes historical.
I had written this piece with the Revolutionary War in mind. 🙂
Very nicely done – you got some girl power going on in the civil war! I loved it:)
Girl power is my speciality!
I liked this mini-story. The only part that seemed odd was that the paragraph beginning with “For once in my life” was not in present tense. That jarred me a little, but overall this was a daring stab at it.
Aha! You are indeed correct about my little error there. But I am glad you like it. 🙂
This was great! A new take on the prompt for sure and so sad at the end! I wanted to know what led her to this moment. . .
Thank you, Diane. This is part of a story that I want to write soon, so one day the entire storyline will be revealed.
Congratulations! You’ve been shortlisted to move on to stage two of the first campaign challenge!
Thank you! I truly appreciate this.
Liked what you did with two hundred words. You gave us history and emotion. Way to go! 🙂
I wrote a children’s story “don’t eat my toes, OK?” number 181. Hope you like it. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Thanks for checking out my entry! I left a comment on your blog. 🙂
Great story. There should be more!!
Thank you. I plan to turn this into a novel one day.
Interesting take on the challenge! Well done1
Thank you C.M. 🙂
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