Sara Flower Kjeldsen

Brave

pexels-photo-1006098
From the Rachel Writes blog, I have taken on the challenge of writing flash fiction that is exactly 200 words. You can check out her blog here.

The Challenge is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
  • include the word “orange” in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

Here is my stab at some short fiction:

Brave by Sara Flower

Shadows crept across the wall. As I focus, I recognize the forms of John and the surgeon. Sweat stings my eyes and I close them, wincing at the agonizing pain in my left leg. Flashbacks of cannons and terrorized faces haunt me and my eyelids flutter open only to see another nightmare.

The surgeon is standing over me now. I can see it in his eyes. I am going to die.

John rushes to my side, relieving my burning forehead with a damp cloth. His free hand takes mine.

“You are so brave. I owe you my life,” says John.

He blinks and a tear slips down his muddy face.

For once in my life, I felt like I have really done something for my country. If Henry could see me now, he would probably disown me on the spot at the sight of his wife being a bloody, sweaty mess dressed in men’s clothes. I smile at that. It had all been worth it.

“Brave and beautiful. With that lovely orange hair,” John says, smiling.

Tears blur my vision not from the terrible pain, but at the revelation of how much I am going miss him.

Then, everything faded.

-Sara Kjeldsen

(Source:Photo by Min An from Pexels)

39 comments

  11. Love the reveal. Henry’s loss was John’s gain! Great job getting so much in 200 words. You have such a knack for conveying emotion. You inspired me to join in. So much fun!

    • Thank you so much, Lauren. I try hard to show the emotion and personality of my characters, so what you said means a lot!

      I was happy to read your take on the flash fiction challenge. I love your writing style – it is always so exciting and real.

  15. Great story! Is it supposed to be set during the Civil War or Revolutionary War? It’s nice to see another campaigner who writes historical.

    I’m #123.

  17. I liked this mini-story. The only part that seemed odd was that the paragraph beginning with “For once in my life” was not in present tense. That jarred me a little, but overall this was a daring stab at it.

  20. Liked what you did with two hundred words. You gave us history and emotion. Way to go! 🙂

    I wrote a children’s story “don’t eat my toes, OK?” number 181. Hope you like it. Thanks for reading. 🙂

Comments are closed.