One of the reasons why I’ve been able to find a life of contentment is that I allowed myself to explore different paths and areas without the fear of judgement. The reality is: People will judge you no matter what you do. And I learned this early on. I remember the day when I decided who I didn’t want to be. The person I didn’t want to be was the type who sat back judging others who were doing things – I wanted to be the one doing the things.
Whether you reach every socially acceptable adult milestone at the right time or not, there will always be someone who wants to discredit what you’re doing. The further you stray away from usual lifestyles, the greater the likelihood that people will judge what you’re doing. And you don’t have to let that bother you. I really believe that people talking about you means you’re doing something right. In that I mean that if you were laying low, not really trying anything new, not experimenting or doing anything unique, they’d have less reasons to judge. Of course people will talk if you’re doing something different from what they’re doing. Let them talk and keep doing what you love (I’m probably preaching to the choir here. It seems that people who are creative and individualists rarely care what others think). The thing that makes me feel correct in choosing the path I’m taking is that it’s inspired and encouraged others. If what I was doing was making others feel bad or spreading hate, then I should probably stop and re-assess what I’m doing. But my minimalist, yet creative life has been so good for my peace of mind and mental health – and my hope is that if someone else wants this life but hasn’t yet achieved it, maybe if they stumble upon my content they’ll feel empowered to do the same.
As for the haters, in time, they may begin to close their mouths and start taking notes. If you keep chasing your dreams and achieving your goals, even the biggest haters can start to become admirers. I look at some great public figures – I’ll use Jagmeet Singh as an example. He’s the leader of the Federal NDP in Canada and he had experiences with bullying growing up – and he’s had to endure racist comments even after years of being a lawyer and politician. But you see, he’s risen above all the hate and slander and he continues to do what he does best – caring for others and using his skills to help make the country a better place. Cruel comments only push people like him further. I find him so inspiring – and while I’m certainly not close to that level, I aspire to be. Rather than becoming a bully to combat other bullies, I’d rather stay in my own lane and keep inspiring others through a peaceful life filled with nature, tea, and writing.
Sometimes, the further you go and the more confident you become, the more some people will despise you. It has nothing to do with you. Truly, it has everything to do with them and their own personal issues. Mentally healthy people will clap for others while people with self esteem issues get jealous easily. There are also trolls, bullies, etc. with deep-seeded issues who enjoy going after anyone (It may be targeted, but it’s often just random and not personal). Basically, if you’re doing anything worth doing there’s always going to be someone who will try to shut you down for it. Just remember that only people who are bored or not happy with their own life will try to take away others’ happiness.
Think about it: What are you doing? You’re focusing on your day, setting and achieving goals, working, creating, resting, sharing insights and successes, etc. All the while these trolls/bullies are devoting hours to creating fake accounts, stalking, spamming, attacking, spreading slander, etc. All you can do is feel bad for them, because they’ve missed out on the biggest lesson of all: self-love. When you love yourself truly, you don’t feel the need to slander, stalk, or harass others. Even if you don’t agree with a life path someone else is taking, you need to realize it’s none of your business. Good people stay in their lane and they only offer help when it’s truly needed (or asked for).
So, let people talk. Their words don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Live your life. The right people will come who get you. The rest doesn’t really matter. My hope is that this will give you peace. And if you’re reading this and you’ve done some trolling or bullying yourself, just know that you have the power to go after those dreams you want and you’ll be far happier if you focus on yourself rather than trying to bring others down.
As a victim of bullying at school I try and avoid negativity. I am not very confrontational and prefer staying in the background, but my first book (vanity press, and if I could I would go back to it and make it better) was written because of my experience in bullying. Children can be cruel, and I should have told someone, but in a way I did by writing the book. It wasn’t about me, but we shared some experiences. People will always have an opinion, but as you say, we can’t let them define who we are. Without the bullying I would never have written anything, and it was like my comfort blanket, my words outstripped theirs.
I really need to read that book of yours! I’ll be adding it to my to-read list. 🙂 And that’s very true – you did tell someone in the end because you wrote your story. ❤ And you're right that sometimes we can take those stones they throw and make them into steps – and we can create our own path and fly higher as a result. I love that you still like to keep the peace and that you don't clap back. .You're awesome and thank you for your comment!
There will always be haters, as you say – live your life 🙂
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