The Power Of Saying “No”

Saying “no” confidently isn’t something that comes naturally to many of us. We care about the feelings of others and don’t want to seem selfish, however, having an inability to say “no” can hinder us from living our best life (And in worst cases, puts us in codependent type of relationships). You can politely say no to people when they ask you to do something you don’t want to do. Saying “no” doesn’t mean you’re rejecting them, it means you’re not available to do what it is they want you to do at that moment.

Here are some possible scenarios where one should say “no”:

*Friendships that drain you or focus mainly on the negative things

*Spending money on things you can’t afford or don’t want to spend money on

*Giving time and affection to relationships that aren’t giving the same back to you

*Letting someone’s bad day or bad mood become your own

*People asking you to go out with them when you had something else planned

*Doing things that you don’t want to do (For whatever reason)

Here’s an example of a situation where not saying “no” could have a negative impact on your life. Say you’re saving up for something important – it could be a dream trip, a car, a new home, etc. yet there’s alot of short-term fun activities people are asking you to go to. You’ve committed to cooking at home most days and saving as much money as you can by working extra hours (Which means saying “no” to a lot of outings for the short term). Despite your goal, people are often asking you to go out on work nights. And there’s nothing wrong with doing these things, but you can’t spend that kind of money since you’re saving up for something. It means you’ll have to say “no” to some social things. It doesn’t mean you’re rejecting the people who are asking – you could suggest going for a simple walk and a chat or postponing dinner/drinks to the following weekend when your budget will allow it.

It can be a little awkward if you’re always the one saying “no” to certain activities, but this is short term stuff – you’ll need to put up with some discomfort to get to your ultimate goal (To be fair I don’t think most people care that much if you say “no” to outings after the first few times. They have their own lives to lead). Say you give in and end up going out for dinner/drinks 3x per week – it doesn’t seem like much considering you’re spending time with great people and you’re out living life, but after 6 months passes you’ve fallen short of your savings goal. You’ll be frustrated if you let other people distract you from your goals.

This is just one example, but I think it drives the point home!

Saying No To Your Own Temptations

There are also situations where you need to say no to your own impulses. The mind can have a funny way of talking us out of our own plans – it wants us to take the most comfortable path which can lead us to falling short of our goals. It could mean not splurging on a latte every morning and drinking the free work coffee instead to save extra money. It could also mean saying no to connections that aren’t heading on the same path as you – sure, they’re great people, but if they want different things than you, they’re going to hinder your dream life if you spend too much time with them.

Here’s some empowering reasons why it’s okay to say “no”:

*Other people can’t live your life for you – only you can achieve your dream life

*Saying no to activities that take you away from your goals means you can spend more time building the life you want

*Saying no to connections that take you off your chosen path means you can be in a better position to say yes to those who are going in the same direction as you

*No one else can get you what you want – only you can

*People’s opinions don’t pay your bills

*You can always make more friends (It sounds harsh, but it’s really important that we have supportive people in our lives)

Recap

Saying “no” to anything that takes you away from your happiness means you can say “yes” to more things that will help you reach your goals. In the end, how our life goes rests exclusively on us, so it’s important to be able to prioritize your own happiness – because when you take care of yourself first, you’re in a better position to help others, too. ❀

21 comments

  1. Well said I’m totally agree with all points you suggested βœ¨πŸ‘ , saying or doing something depends on Time and situation .You described Power of NO in right direction , thank you so much for sharing πŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ™

  2. I’m so here for this! I had a friend for a couple years in undergrad who always vented to meβ€”not a problem in and of itself, but definitely stressful at times. If I’d have learned to say no sooner, I could’ve saved myself a lot of emotional labor. Thanks for the post!

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