Matthew and I stood on the long boardwalk. My gaze wandered over the ancient, natural wonder of the waves rolling in. The great waters of the ocean would still exist without me after I breathed my last breath. Life would go on. In time, even my memory would fade along with the wilting flowers that my loved ones would place at my grave.

“Alfred.”

I started at Caleb’s loud, mocking call. He wore an ecstatic expression.

“Aw, you look so glum, fairy boy.”

“This must be a glorious day for you,” I scoffed.

“On the contrary. I feel the same as I would discarding a half-dead rat caught in my cellar. It’s just a necessary task that I must complete.”

Matthew stepped in front of me as Caleb loaded his weapon.

Caleb snickered. “No need to be so protective, Matty boy. We will all play by the rules here.”

Matthew shook his head before turning to me. “My friend. I do not know what to say now. I should have protected you better. I stayed behind to help you, but all I did was make the situation worse.”

“This summer has been an adventure that I was able to spend with you once more. That makes me happy.”

My solemn voice and misty eyes did nothing to strengthen my lie. Even as I was moments away from the grave that I have long thought about, my sadness deepened.

Matthew handed me his father’s loaded pistol.

“Matthew,” I pleaded. “Please, find Jeremy for me. Finish the graveyard for them. Please, publish my stories. And Sarah’s stories. Publish her stories first.”

His face twisted in an obvious attempt to stop himself from crying.

“Of course. You have my word, old boy.”

I took a deep breath and faced my rival.

“Aim for his heart,” Matthew whispered.

I nodded, but I had no intention of doing so. My time had come and I was ready.

“Stand back to back, gentlemen,” ordered the saloon owner, Mr. Brown.

With our backs touching, Caleb’s warmth felt like a disease slowly making its way through my clothing. It seemed to seep into my skin. I cast my gaze upon the townsmen I attended summer fairs and church with when I was a child. By the looks of things, they were just as hungry for my death as Caleb was. 

“Now, walk twenty paces, starting now.”

One. Two. Three.

I walked past Matthew and our eyes glued together. He gave me an encouraging smile, but his eyes were grievous and watery. I flashed him a nervous grin. I wanted him to remember me attempting to be brave.

Eight. Nine. Ten.

I drank in the sight of the water; I breathed in its intoxicating, salty scent. For so long I had hoped to die by my own hand, but I would die by the hand of another instead. I wondered if my life’s purpose was meant to end on Sunny Harbor. I thought about God and I questioned if he approved of my work. 

Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty.

I was almost certain that my heart would burst from my chest as I stood on shaking legs about to be shot at.

“Face your opponent!” shouted Mr. Brown.

I spun on my heels to face my enemy, refusing to look at his face. My focus rested just past him on the slowly receding sun. It would be the last thing I would see.

“Aim your pistols, and on my call, you will fire your shots. Ready, aim…”

A shadowy, feminine form moved behind Caleb. I blinked. I was seeing illusions or a spirit coming to take me away.

“Stop!” screamed a woman.

Caleb turned away, roared, and stormed toward the woman.

“Sarah?” I called.

Would you like to read more? You can buy The Suicides here.

Fun fact: I wrote this book entirely at a library computer after I had to sell my laptop to pay for rent in 2015. I had a limit of one hour every session, but I listened to my inspiration and let nothing stop me from writing this story. I hope you enjoy it. ❤