I rode down the street of my hometown early the next day. I stopped my horse in front of the old saloon and looked up at the empty building that had once held so much power over my life. It still ravaged my soul to set eyes on it for the last time.  

I got down from my horse and stepped up the stairs into the old place. I sensed evil hovering over me like a demon, as though some part of Max still existed there. It was time to gut that place of its demons.  

I stepped behind the bar and bashed in the glass door of the liquor cabinet. I poured the alcohol out of every bottle and found a book of matches under the bar counter. I stepped away from the wet floor and lit a match. I tossed it to the floor and ran away from the hungry flames as they devoured the old, smelly wood. I watched from the street as the saloon met its end. The ravenous fire brought new life to the dead street as people ran out of buildings to see what was going on. 

I remounted my fidgety horse as panicked cries and shouts filled the air. I grinned as my I urged my mount into a canter for the open road. He broke into a run instead. I pulled sharply on the reins; he hesitated before obeying me, but finally slowed down when I dug my heels sharply into his sides.  

“You know what you’re supposed to do when I pull on the reins,” I said sternly. “But the blame goes to the idiot who tried to break you in.” 

When he stopped pawing at the ground like a misbehaved colt, I gave him a good petting. Then, I urged him to go and he obeyed the pace that I set for him that time. How I missed the days when Angel and I would ride like the wind.  

The hot sun forced us to stop every time we came to a stream or a creek. I found another watering hole. I scanned the timber for rattlesnakes before leading my horse to the water to drink. The animal hesitated before lowering his mouth to the water. A long, thick body emerged from the water’s murky depths. Suppressing a scream, I pulled back on my horse’s reins, slowly stepping backward. 

Another reptilian head bobbed above the surface. Sensing the sudden danger, my horse reared. I backed away from the scene, softly calling for my horse to come. The gelding calmed at last and made his way over to me.  

“Good boy,” I cooed, rubbing his smooth coat with trembling hands.  

I remounted, realizing the weakness in my limbs from seeing two water monsters up so close. I hoped the next source of water was not too far off, because I was so thirsty.  

We travelled a way down the grown in road. I scanned the crops across the countryside and my mouth watered at the idea of eating fresh fruit. I lacked the energy to go hunting and longed for an easy snack. As much as I deserved to starve, I needed enough sustenance to keep me healthy for my journey.   

I stopped at last on the edge of an apple orchard, inhaling the sweet aroma that hovered in the air. Red apples and healthy green leaves were the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. I picked one and dug my teeth into it. The horse tore at the branches with his teeth like a madman. He snatched the apples and smacked his lips as he littered the ground with half-chewed fragments. One branch that he pushed into flung back and slapped me in the face. 

“Ouch!” I cried. 

That horse was going to be the death of me. 

“Hello?” someone called.  

Startled by the sudden male voice, I rested a hand on my holster. I was on his land stealing his apples and he had every right to shoot me. I wanted to flee, but he was too close.  

The best way to diffuse the situation was to be as personable as possible, but how I hated being overly friendly to strangers. 

“Hello there!” I called.  

A young man emerged from the thick trees with brown eyes so warm that he had to be hiding something terrible behind them. 

“Fancied some apples for yourselves?” he asked with a crooked grin. 

“Well, yes. I am sorry for trespassing. It’s a day’s ride until I reach the next town and-” 

He broke into a laugh that jarred both my horse and me. I steadied my mount without taking my eyes off the stranger.  

“My Aunt’s cooking up a storm back at the farmhouse if you want to help us polish off some food.” 

I did not want to believe that what he said was true. His genuine smile tugged at my heartstrings and I wanted to despise him for being so inexplicably kind. My heart was raw and the last thing I expected was generosity from a stranger. My tired eyes watered and I looked away from him. For all I knew, he was going to lead me to a deserted cabin and slit my throat. Or worse. 

“That is nice of you to offer,” I stuttered. 

“My name’s Gabriel. I’m studying to be a preacher and living with a good family so you need not worry about what will happen to you if you follow me back home.” 

“Oh, I wasn’t worried at all.” 

He grinned at me and I blushed. How I hated blushing.  

The last person that I wanted to be around was a man of God, but hunger ate away at my stomach. The possibility of a sermon was a small price to pay for the nourishment that my body needed.  

“Now, what might your name be?” he asked.  

“Mary.” 

“Nice to meet you, Mary.” 

“Likewise, Gabriel.” 

He outstretched his hand and I shook it. His handshake was warm and sturdy. I stared at my hand in a daze until he cleared his throat. 

“I barely slept last night so I’m a bit slow right now,” I blurted.  

It felt strange divulging such a thing to a stranger. He only smiled at my admission.  

“Then a hearty meal is in order. Follow me.” 

I dismounted so that we would be on equal footing. I caught him briefly gazing up and down the length of my body before focusing on the path ahead. 

“Where are you headed?” he asked. 

“Kansas.” 

I wanted to hit myself for telling him that. He wouldn’t understand my mission and I silently pleaded with all the higher powers that existed to stop him from asking me more questions.  

“Well, that’s quite a trek.” 

I chuckled.  

“It is.” 

“Hm,” he muttered. 

He seemed to sense that I had something to hide, but he could never imagine how many ugly things lurked just below the surface. He prudently changed the subject to the orchards. I felt myself relaxing a little as we walked and talked about fruit farming. Being a farmer myself in days past, I found it easy to relate to the way that he and his family lived. It was so strange to talk with someone about something pleasant and ordinary.  

“Thank you for asking me to dine with you and your family,” I said when the farmhouse came into view. “I don’t see that sort of kindness often.” 

“People shouldn’t be punished by society for being wanderers,” he said. “Lord only knows when you’ll eat your next decent meal. It’s the least I can do.” 

I tied my horse securely to the fence post where he could graze on the lush grass. 

“I’ll bring out a big pail of water for him to drink once we get you settled inside,” said Gabriel. “Then I’ll take him to the stable to rest.” 

I flashed him a tired smile.  

“Thank you for your kindness.” 

When we reached the house, Gabriel opened the front door and stepped aside for me to go in first. As the intoxicating aroma of cooking meat wafted into my nostrils and my eyes wandered over the homey scene, so many emotions flooded through me.  

Gabriel’s aunt, who was busy slaving away in the kitchen, heard us removing our boots and turned around to face us. The expression on her face made me wonder if I had made a grave mistake. Her kind face sent a chill of recognition over me. She reminded me of my mother and for a moment, I wondered if she had returned in another form to watch over me.  

I sucked in a quick breath of air. I told myself that I had to put a stop to the delusion before they discovered how crazy I was. I really did need sleep.  

“Gabriel, who have you found here?” asked the woman with a broad grin.  

“My name is Mary and I am a traveller,” I said, forcing a smile. “Nice to meet you, Ma’am.” 

“My name is Gail. You can call me Aunt Gail, if you like. Welcome to our home.” 

“She’s off to Kansas,” said Gabriel, removing his hat to reveal dark brown hair. 

“That so?” asked Gail.  

“Yes’m,” I said, quickly removing my hat as well. 

A large man whom I presumed to be Gabriel’s uncle strode into the room. 

“I’m hungrier than a bear today after that scuffle. Oh, nice to meet you, little lady,” he said with a quick nod. “But let’s save the formalities ‘til after we eat.” 

“Jonathan,” scolded Gail. 

“I might just be as hungry as he is,” I said with a shrug. 

“That’s my girl,” said Jonathan with a wink. 

We seated ourselves in the dining room, while Gabriel’s aunt brought over the pot of roast venison, potatoes, and gravy. My mouth watered and I stopped myself from reaching across the table for the food.  

My stomach rumbled and I caught Gabriel stifling a laugh. I was too tired and too hungry to be embarrassed.  

Once all our plates were filled with steaming food, Jonathan said a prayer, prolonging my great hunger. When the words to God were over, I sliced off a slab of the roasted stag and shoved it into my mouth.  

I let out a pleasured sigh as I bit into exquisite tasting meat coated with savoury gravy.  

Gail watched me in unmasked amazement.  

“Sorry,” I said. “It’s been ages since I’ve had a proper meal like this. I’ve hunted fresh game while living in the Ozarks, but it was rather bland, as you might imagine. Your cooking is phenomenal, Ma’am.” 

“Thank you, sweet girl,” said Gail with a gracious smile.  

“You’re a hunter too, huh?” asked Jonathan. “She looks like a girl, but she might just be a man on the inside.” 

“Nah,” said Gabriel. “I think she’s all girl.” 

I devoured the food on my plate, losing myself in the sensory experience. For a few blessed moments, it gave me something to think about besides how much I missed Becky. I leaned back in the chair as my food digested and their soft voices filled the air while they made small talk.  

My eyelids fluttered closed and it was not until a gentle hand squeezed my arm that I realized I had fallen asleep. I sat straight up in the chair and stared into a pair of gentle grey eyes. 

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to walk in here, eat your food, and fall asleep like some drunkard,” I said abashedly. 

“Hush now,” said Gail. “I’ve already prepared a bed for you. Gabriel’s offered to sleep on the rocking chair for tonight.” 

“It’s very kind of you, but I couldn’t accept.” 

“Nonsense. You need a decent night’s sleep, girl. You are not putting us out in the least.” 

I could not argue with such a tempting offer. If they only knew how long it had been since I last slept on a soft bed.  

“I suppose that running on no sleep isn’t the best way to start a long journey.” 

“Precisely.” 

The older woman’s look of concern struck a chord of agitation in me before Gabriel and his uncle stepped through the front door. I felt a longing for my own mother then. I hoped that some sleep would cure some of my peculiar feelings and save me from more painful memories.  

Staring at the two men and their dirtied clothes, I wondered how long I had been sleeping for. They appeared to have been working outside for a while. 

“Are you alright, Mary?” asked Gabriel. 

I looked away from his oddly kind eyes. 

“Yes, thank you. I think I must have slept for a good hour in this chair.” 

“God didn’t design ladies to be lone travellers,” remarked Jonathan. “You must be exhausted.” 

Gabriel threw his uncle a warning look. 

“I have a good idea what you think women were made for,” I said, leaning forward and holding his gaze.  

Silence filled the room.  

Jonathan shrugged with a yawn and left me with his wife and nephew. I imagined that the family held an ulterior motive of some sort, but I wouldn’t stay around long enough to find out what that was. After a long sleep, I would be out of there and back on my mission.  

I stood and nodded gratefully to all three of them, feeling a little foolish.  

“Thank you all very much for your kindness to me. I should go lie down before I collapse.” 

“Good night, Mary,” called Gabriel. 

His tone brought a chill to the air as I retreated from the accommodating little family. I stepped into the little room and fell into the bed. The tornado of emotions encircling my tormented soul stopped the moment that I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to take hold of me.  

I awoke early the next morning to a vision of Becky. Her illuminated figure broke the darkness in the room. I wrapped the covers around me, hoping that it was only a dream as her sad eyes bore into mine.  

She looked just how she did the day that I left the farm to work at the saloon. I told her that I would bring home lemon drops, which were her favourite candy. My promise made her smile for a moment.  

As her ghostlike being stood in front of me, her sad expression deepened. I reached my hand out to hold her pale hand.  

“I am so, so sorry, Becky.” 

She turned away and the thick darkness surrounded me. The terrible reality of her death closed in on me once again as the cool temperature sharpened my awareness.  

My soul would forever mourn for her on earth and in hell. I moaned and slowly pulled myself away from the soft blankets. All I wanted to do was curl up in them and not move for days, but my life was not my own anymore. I existed solely to bring justice.   

… to be continued

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