A New Term For Narcissism

Some psychologists are using the term “antagonistic” rather than narcissism to describe people with NPD.

A big reason for this is that narcissism can be misapplied to several people.

You’re hearing more statements like “We’re all a little narcissistic.” Yes, empaths will have a couple of narcissistic traits. This is a far cry from the truly damaging, cold, and controlling traits of true narcissists.

So, using the term “antagonistic” can clarify things. Being antagonistic goes beyond being ambitious, taking selfies, and seeking attention sometimes.

Antagonistic people seek to dominate and control others in their lives. They also have a lack of regard for others’ rights. These are problematic traits as they often get the person who has them to do awful things to people.

Antagonistic people will never let you have true peace if you keep them in your life. They will sabotage your dreams and goals. They’ll make you so exhausted that you forget who you are. Regular, empathetic people don’t do this to the people in their life.

What Is Not Antagonistic?

* Setting boundaries

* Making a request

* Clarifying/confirming something

* Knowing your rights and standing on them

* Saying “no”

* Blocking trolls and rude/disruptive people on social media

* Having ambitions that are different from those you know

* Having preferences

For example, the other day after I got out of the shower, one of my house mates told me not to turn the fan on as it’s very disruptive to her and others.

My showers are always before 9 PM at night. I admit no one’s ever asked me not to use the shower fan in a house before. However, knowing it was disturbing to them, they didn’t need to ask me twice.

I value peace and happiness for others as well as myself. So I will no longer use the fan.

She wasn’t being antagonistic making this request. Some people are triggered by certain sounds and when you’re choosing to live with others, you need to respect their tolerance levels for noise.

If I argued with her, saying that turning the fan on is necessary to prevent mold, it could have caused a scene and made both of us feel crappy. An antagonistic person would either “put her in her place” or pretend to be compliant only to continue using the fan.

There are other times you’ll need to exert your right to do something. For example, a fit girl posts her gym progress photos sometimes. She’s right where she wants to me and objectively she looks healthy and fit. This guy keeps messaging her to tell her what she can do to “improve” according to his standards.

It’s hard to say if he really believes his advice or if he’s trying to sabotage her routine. She stands her ground and refuses to take his advice. He calls her a toxic narcissist and blocks her.

The irony is he messaged her out of the blue and gave her unsolicited advice. There’s a high likelihood he’s on the NPD spectrum. She was simply setting a boundary: “I love how I look and I don’t appreciate your advice so I’m not taking it.”

Covert narcissists often use passive aggressive tactics like gaining pity, playing mind games, setting up distractions or obstructions, or messaging people from fake accounts, etc. Overt narcissists will be verbally mean and enjoy “telling people the truth”, creating a lot of social drama online and in real life.

These conversations about antagonistic people aren’t meant for you to start going through your contact list and rating everyone as either “empathetic” or “narcissistic”.

These conversations are meant for you to know how to set boundaries and be your authentic self should these antagonistic people try to start toxic situations with you. When you’re better prepared on what to do when narcissists try their nasty games, you can walk away with less guilt and regret.

Thank you for reading today! ❤️